No Joke
by H.M. 'Howlin' Mad' Murdock
Summary: When a girl runs into the wrong people and is made to trick the A-Team into helping her with a fake problem things get a little hairy. Which A Team member is hurt and will they make it? Can they save their friend? Or will this be the end?
1. Chapter 1

The A-Team.

Story is after the season two episode The Taxicab Wars and before the episode Labor Pains.

I do not own any of these characters' listed they are all the property of Universal Studios and Stephen Cannell.

Brianna as usual was sitting on the rusted out fire escape on the side of her apartment building. Looking out over the parking lot, that rested behind her run down home.

It was getting dark and the air had a slight chill. She would have to get back inside soon to give her mother her medication.

_A few more minutes won't hurt. _She thought as she smiled to herself.

She shivered a little and rearranged the way she was sitting when she noticed a car pulling into the parking lot.

_That's odd. That lot is usually abandoned. _

She didn't think much of it and was about to head inside when she saw another car pulling into the parking lot.

Brianna frowned. _That's odd. Two cars... _She saw another car slowing down and it too pulled into the lot.

Whatever was happening, it had her attention. Men started getting out of their cars. One man opened the back door of his car and let out an elderly looking man in an expensive suit. As he was helping the old man out Brianna noticed another man that had gotten out of the same vehicle was holding a handgun. She knew then that something was very wrong.

She saw men in suits and men in more casual looking clothes. They started to slowly approach one another. The suits started patting down the casuals. One of the casuals then headed towards Old Suit. Brianna counted nine men altogether six suits and three casuals. The lead casual went to shake Old Suits hand but Old Suit ignored the gesture.

_What is going on down there? I need to get closer so I can hear what they are saying. _ Brianna, trying to move quietly along the creaking fire escape, lost her balance and accidentally leant against a rusted out hand rail. Next thing she knew she was falling. Luckily she landed in a dumpster. Not so lucky was that it was full of stinky trash.

*click click click* Brianna winced. Those clicks were the sounds of the men cocking their guns. That means that they were ready to shoot. She stood up slowly and poked her head out of the dumpster.

"Oh," she said pretending to be surprised "Hi there." She saw Old Suit .

"What are you standing there for? Get her! Who knows what she heard?"

"Me?" she asks pointing at herself. "Oh no, I didn't hear anything. I was just... um... Dumpster diving... Literally..." she explained as two men pulled her out of the trash.

"Plus, you know, I forgot my helmet and I'm pretty sure I have amnesia."

"Shut up!" One of the men growled as he walked her towards Old Suit.

"Who...What...Where am I?"

"I said shut up!" the man yelled jabbing his gun into her side.

"Oh. Right. Shut up."

Brianna looked around nervously she noticed all the men had circled her.

"We will have to finish this business later. My men will be in touch." Old Suit explained. With that Bri was bustled into the car.

"In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them...maybe you can hire The A-Team."


	2. Chapter 2

Brianna had always wondered what it was like to be tied to a chair. She had seen it happen in plenty of movies but never thought it would happen to herself. She had been told that she was to be used in a "job". Whatever that meant. She was meant to hire the A-Team. She had over heard some of the men talking about how the A-Team had ruined Old Suits drug trafficking operation, a few years before, and that he wanted to get them back. Just then a man walked into the room.

"You know that you'll do as I say girl." A man that Brianna had heard referred to as Fast-Freddie.

"I don't have to do anything." Brianna spat. "Besides I already told you I didn't hear anything."

"Is that so huh? Then...uh... Why were you sneaking around on the fire escape then?" he asked getting closer and closer to her face.

"I live in that building. It's not my fault you chose a dumb place to do your stupid meeting."

"Don't get smart with me little girl!" Fast-Freddie roared as he grabbed the front of her shirt.

"Uh uh uh. You can't kill me. Yah boss said so." Bri sternly told the man.

"He may have said I ain't allowed to kill yah. He never said nothing about not being allowed to mess you up." He smiled.

"Freddie lay off would yah. We're already in enough trouble as it is with the boss." A tall skinny man moaned as he walked into the room. Brianna recognized her as one of the men that pulled her out of the dumpster.

" I don't need you messing the girl up."

The car pulled up a few shops down from 'Mr Lee's Laundromat.'

"You know what to do?" Fast-Fred asked Bri.

"Why do I have to do this?" Brianna asked as she fidgeted nervously.

"Because I said so. Now you go in there and stick with the story. You try anything funny and my friend up there." He said pointing to a man with a sniper's rifle on the roof of a building opposite Mr Lee's. "He'll kill you and the old man."

Brianna found herself walking towards a Laundromat in a part of the city she didn't know. She didn't know why she had to talk to this Mr Lee about her "problem". Or why she had to lie about this "situation" she was in. She opened the shop door. A little bell on the door tinkled giving her a fright. She looked around. It didn't look like anyone was here.

"Hello?" she called out unsurely.

"I be with you In one minute." Someone called back. Soon an old Asian man shuffled in.

"Hello there." He greeted while he walked towards her.

"Um. Are you Mr Lee?" she asked nervously.

"Why you come here?" Mr Lee asked angrily. "You have clothes for dry clean?"

"Uh. No I was told... I was told to come here and to ask for a Mr Lee." She replied uneasily.

"The sign say Mr Lee Laundromat no?" Mr Lee questioned her as he poured tea.

"Well yeah. But..."

"Then I must be Mr Lee." He said handing her a cup of tea. She took it. Unsure of whether or not she should drink it.

"Okay. Mr Lee. I was told by a friend of mine that you know the A-Team." she taking a sip of her tea.

"Why you think I know A-Team?" He growled making Brianna jump and spill some of her tea.

"Well like I said I heard." She really didn't know what was going on. Was this guy really meant to know the A-Team? What did Old Suit and his men intend on actually doing to the A-Team if they do hire them?

"What do you want with this... A-Team?" Mr Lee asked curiously leaning forward.

"Well I have a problem. My brother Jimmy. He's gone missing. He's only twelve." She lied telling the story she had been told to say.

"Why you no go to police?"

"Well. He was in trouble with the police. He got caught up with these guys selling drugs. I think... I think they kidnapped him." She was trying to make herself sound upset.

"Here. Go here. You see a man. He wear a hat. Tell him "Mr Lee send you" okay?" he handed her a piece of paper. She looked down at it and read the address. When she looked back up she could have sworn Mr Lee was a different person. She left the store and headed back to the car.

Hannibal took off his wig and walked into the back alley where Face, B.A. and Murdock were waiting in the van.

"Looks like we have a job guys." He took out a cigar and lit it.

"What's the job boss-man?" Murdock asked intrigued. B.A. started the van and started to drive while Hannibal explained the girl's situation.

"There was something funny about her..." Hannibal started.

"Funny? Like a clown?" Murdock grinned stupidly and honked a rubber horn.

"I told you fool! You honk that thing again I'mma make you eat it!" B.A. roared. Hannibal took a puff of his cigar.

"No. She seemed nervous." Hannibal pondered.

"Could be that her little brother is missing." Face suggested.

"I thought that but... She just didn't seem. Right." Hannibal paused. "We have to take extra care with this. Make sure it isn't Decker and his men trying to trick us."


	3. Chapter 3

Please please R and R so i know you are reading so i can keep updating. Hope you enjoy this chapter. I made it a little longer. Sorry about the cliff hanger. :D

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Hannibal had been waiting for the girl to turn up for over an hour now. He was starting to get agitated. For all he knew Decker and his men had them completely surrounded. Waiting for a sign of The A-Team. Just as he was thinking of leaving he saw a small figure heading towards him. He figured it must be the girl.

She slowly approached the stranger at the end of the pier. Mr Lee had told her that there would be a man wearing a hat waiting for her. There was only one person there so she figured it must be the guy.

"Um Mr Lee sent me..." she called out as she took the last few steps to reach the man.

"Ah. You're late lass." The man had an accent. He was smoking a pipe.

"I'm sorry. I uh... Had trouble getting here. So you know The A-Team?" she leaned against the wooden hand rail.

The man sucked on his pipe a few times until he finally replied "Aye lassie. I do. But you have to have a good reason to hire thee A-Team."

"Well I explained to Mr Lee that my brother has gone missing." She really didn't like lying about her situation but she had no other choice.

"What do ye want The A-Team to do for ye?" he asked blowing smoke in her face. She coughed a little.

"I want them to help my brother. I heard that they help people in trouble." She was nervous enough already without having to answer questions. She wondered why this guy wouldn't just tell her where she could find The A-Team.

The man smiled. He took off his hat. "Congratulations. You have just hired The A-Team."

Brianna and the man that had introduced himself as Hannibal walked towards the parking lot across the road from the pier.

"I'm sorry about making you run around town to find us. We just had to make sure you were who you said you were." Hannibal apologized.

"It's okay. I understand. So um where are the rest of them?" she asked looking around the empty lot.

"They're around. Guys come out!" Hannibal called taking a cigar out of his pocket.

Brianna saw three men come out of different places. This started to worry her. She was with strangers. She knew that they had a reputation for helping people but still. The men approached.

"Guys this here is Brianna. Brianna this is The A-team. The guy with the gold is B.A. the suit is Face and this here is Murdock." He said pointing to each with his cigar before lighting it.

"Hi." Brianna gave a small nod.

"B.A. bring the van around." Hannibal ordered.

"Hi there I'm Murdock but you can call me Murdock." He greeted with a friendly hand shake. Brianna went to shake his hand when Face interjected.  
"I wouldn't. He has a hand buzzer." Face warned.

"Now Face. How am I meant to make people laugh if you keep ruining the pranks!" Murdock grumbled with his head down.

"Ignore him. He's uh. He's Murdock." Face smiled.

"Okay." Brianna gave a small grin.

Just then B.A. pulled up in the van.

"Come on guys." Hannibal climbed into the passenger seat. Face opened the side door for Murdock and Brianna to get in. He got in last and closed the door behind him.

"So Brianna, tell us a little about your situation." Face started "We know your brother is missing. When was the last time you saw him."

Briannas mind went blank. She had forgotten what she had been told to say.

"Brianna?" Murdock asked waving a hand in front of her face.

Hannibal turned and gave B.A. a look of warning.

"Okay. Explain what is going on here. We don't like being played for fools!" Hannibal growled.

"I uh. I haven't seen him in two weeks." She stammered. She had to warn these guys. They had no idea what was going to happen to them. But how? She had been mic'd. If Fast-Fred and his goons heard her warning them she'd be killed to. She looked around the van, but couldn't figure out a way to warn them without talking.

"Face. Search her." Hannibal ordered.

Brianna pointed to her shirt collar. Face looked at Hannibal.

"There's nothing here Hannibal." Face said loudly as he pulled the mic off the girl's shirt. "She's clean."

"Good." Hannibal said throwing the mic out his window.

"Step on it B.A. Deckers got to be around here." Hannibal said.

"I'm sorry. They said they would kill me if I didn't trick you guys into helping me." Brianna started to cry.

"It's okay. We understand." B.A. reassured the girl.

"Kill you. That doesn't sound like Decker. Who are these guys?" Hannibal asked curiously.

"I don't know them. Uh one of them is called Fast-Fred. That's all I know." She explained.

"Fast-Fred. He is one of the Romano brothers." Hannibal said with a grunt. "I wonder if this could have anything to do with us busting their drug trafficking business a few years ago."

Just as he finished saying that B.A. slammed on the brakes.

"They are after us Hannibal!" B.A. yelled. As he quickly put the van in reverse and drove away from the cars that were following them.

Face pushed Brianna onto the floor of the van "Stay down." He told her.

With that he and Murdock pulled out their semi-automatic guns. Murdock opened the back doors of the van and started shooting at the car that was closest.

Hannibal was using his handgun to shoot out the tires of the cars. One of the cars spun out and crashed into a lamppost. With a chuckle he continued aiming for the tires.

Brianna had her hands over her ears. The gunfire made her ears ring loudly. The men in the cars started to return fire. Brianna was scared. She had seen gun fights in movies but this was real life. This was happening right in front of her. She moved to get a look at what was happening.

B.A. made a sharp turn down an alley and managed to lose another of the cars. There were still three chasing him. His vans tires screamed as he pushed his foot down on the accelerator.

Hannibal was had just finished putting a new mag in his gun when he heard Face scream.

"MURDOCK!" he cried.


	4. Chapter 4

Please please R and R. It only takes a minute to let me know what you think. Thanks for reading. I won't be putting up chapter 5 for a few days. Thanks again.

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His friend had lost his balance and had fallen out of the back of the van. He dove to grab him but he was too late. Murdock bounced off the pavement with a horrible crunch. The cars that were tailing them screeched to a halt. Two drove around Murdocks still body and continued after the van. The other stopped.

"Hannibal we have to go back!" Face yelled.  
"Sergeant, double back around." Hannibal ordered.

B.A. made another sharp turn.

Face was in shock. But he still continued to fire at the cars following them.

Brianna felt horrible about Murdock falling out. She wanted to help. She crouched and moved closer to Face.

"What can I do?" she asked fighting back tears.

"Get down!" Face roared as he continued fire.

Brianna was about to when she felt something hot hit her in the stomach. She looked down and saw blood leaking onto her shirt. Everything started to move in slow motion. Face turned to see the girl holding her abdomen. Blood was gushing out onto the floor of the van.

"Hannibal she's been hit!" he screamed as he pushed her to the ground. He immediately started applying pressure to the wound. Hannibal turned around he looked down at the girl. She was lying on the floor of the van. Her face contorted with pain.

"B.A. we need to stop now!" the colonel yelled. "Find a warehouse." He climbed into the back of the van and closed the back doors.

"What about Murdock!" B.A. asked. Still driving wildly.

"We can't do much at the moment. She's bleeding pretty badly." Hannibal replied as he pushed Face aside. Face who had gone completely white fell backwards. He couldn't take his eyes of the blood.

He had seen men hit before in Nam. But he had forgotten about the blood. It never seemed like this much blood.

Hannibal took off his jacket and used it as gauze. "Stay with me Brianna! You're going to be okay." He reassured the girl. He could tell she was already going into to shock from the blood loss.

"Hold on tight!" B.A. called out as he pushed his foot down on the accelerator. The engine roared.

Hannibal leant over Brianna to protect her from the imminent impact. *CRASH* they smashed through a wall of a warehouse. B.A. quickly applied the brakes. They skidded to a halt.

"B.A. you and Face cover me. Make sure those men don't get in here. I'll take her and try and find some cover." He lifted Brianna as gently as he could. She let out a cry of pain. He climbed out of the van and headed towards the back of the warehouse. He lay her down on the cold concrete floor. She was losing consciousness. "Stay with me Bri!" he gently shook the girl. She groaned and her eyes fluttered.

B.A. ran to the hole he had just made in the warehouse wall. He saw the cars pulling up. He started to fire. Face was by his side. They crouched down on either side of the hole. Face made some hand signals. B.A. nodded. He got up and made sure there wasn't another way these guys could get in while Face held them off.

Murdock could feel himself coming to. The darkness started to clear from his mind. He squinted his eyes open. He strained his mind to remember what had happened. Where he was. But he came up with nothing. _Either I've just had a round of shock therapy or I have hit my head. _He thought as he tried to sit up a little. His body cried as pain shot through him like electricity. He fell back. That wasn't a good sign. If he was in trouble and he couldn't move, well. He knew he didn't have much chance in getting help.

"I think he's coming around." An unfamiliar voice said. Then he saw a dark figure leaning over him.

"Come on! Get up!" Murdock felt someone grab the front of his shirt. His body was screaming with pain. He felt blood on his face. Then he felt himself being pulled up into a standing position. He slumped as soon as they let go of him. He hit ground with a thud.

He couldn't breathe. He couldn't feel much but yet he was in so much pain. His memory started to return. The last thing he remembered was the sound of gun shots. He felt the hands on him again and again them pulling him to his feet. This time they continued to hold onto him.

"Hello there! I hear you have been causing my men some trouble. Now I don't like it when people make my men work harder than they need to." The man that was talking stepped towards Murdock.

Murdocks vision was blurry but he could make out who was speaking to him. It was Tony Romano, the father of the Romano boys that he and The A-Team had gone up against a few years before.

"Well the thing is I can use you. It will be good. I nice little trap for your friends. If they want to get you back they will have to give themselves up." He smiled. "Lock him somewhere. Don't leave him alone. These guys have a tendency to get away."

Murdock felt himself being dragged. The heels of his shoes leaving scuff marks on the floor. He felt the darkness returning. He tried to fight it but he was too weak.


	5. Chapter 5

Here is chapter five. Short chapter sorry. Please remember to R&R so i know you are reading. Let me know what you think. Like i said it only takes a minute. Thanks again.

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Once B.A. was convinced that no one could get in, without them knowing, he headed back towards Face. Face was leaning against the wall. He looked tired. B.A. decided that they needed to block the hole. He snuck over to Face.

"Face I'll stay here. You go find something to block this hole with." He suggested.

Face nodded. He couldn't shake the pictures from his mind. His friend. His brother. Falling and not being able to help him. Then an innocent girl getting caught in crossfire. He headed towards some large shelving. He looked over it. Luckily for him it had wheels. He started to push it towards the hole in the wall. Hoping that it would manage to block some of it off.

Brianna could hear Hannibal talking but she couldn't make out what he was saying. She felt cold. Colder than she had ever been before. She wanted to cry out in pain but she was too tired.

Hannibal looked around. He saw Face running around and B.A. holding off the goons. He looked back down at Brianna. She looked like she was trying to say something.

"It's okay Bri. You don't need to talk. I need you to stay with me okay. I need you to listen to my voice. Listen to me. I'll be back in a minute just listen to my voice." Hannibal ran towards the van. He needed the first aid kit. He continued calling out to Brianna. Hoping that she was still conscious. He ran back with the first aid kit and knelt beside her.

"You're doing good kid. I saw men in Nam take bullets and they cried like babies. You're strong." He pulled out some gauze. He needed to see how bad it was. He lifted her shirt and saw the bullet hole going into her abdomen. She was still bleeding badly. He knew he needed to pack gauze into her wound but it would cause her a lot of pain. Hannibal rummaged through the first aid kit in search of pain relief. He jabbed the needled into her leg and injected her with morphine. She winced at the pain of the needle but soon he saw her muscles relaxing.

He grabbed the gauze and started pressing it into the wound. This made her scream. "I'm sorry Bri but I have to do this." Hannibal apologised.

She started to struggle against him. "I need some help over here!" Hannibal called out. Face came running careful to avoid the flying bullets. He knelt down beside Hannibal. Brianna looked a lot worse. She had lost a lot more blood and she was in shock.

"Hold her down lieutenant." Hannibal ordered.

Face paused. He was in shock himself. "Lieutenant! Get it together!" Hannibal yelled. Face came around and pinned the girl to the floor. Hannibal started packing the gushing wound with gauze. Brianna struggled against Faces grip. The pain became too much and she lost consciousness.

"We need to get her out of here Hannibal. We have to get her to a hospital." Face was panicking. It was his fault she was shot. He didn't protect her. And now she was going to die.


	6. Chapter 6

PLEASE R&R! It motivates me to write. Next chapter will be at least 1000 words. Thanks

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Murdock felt himself waking up again. This time his memory was a little clearer. He sat up slowly and looked around the room he was in. He was alone.

It appeared to be a personal library. There were wall high book shelves full of books. A large wooden desk sat in the middle of the room. A telephone sat on the desk.

_What luck! _Murdock thought to himself. As he went to stand up he realised his hands and feet were tied. This was going to make it a little more difficult. He sat still for a moment and listened to see if he could hear anyone. He couldn't but he was sure there would be someone close by.

He needed to get his hands and feet untied. He picked at the knotted rope around his ankles. It was loose enough for him to wriggle free of it. He pushed himself into a crouching position and started towards the desk. He needed to find something to cut the rope around his wrists with. He tried the draws on the desk but they were locked.

There was a tall lamp next to an antique armchair. He headed towards it. He stood up and rested the rope on the light bulb. He saw a small wisp of smoke. The light bulb was hot enough to burn the rope. That also meant it was hot enough to burn Murdock. He bit his tongue as the hot glass pressed against his skin. Blisters started forming. He strained against the rope and it snapped.

Rubbing his wrists he went back to the desk and picked up the phones receiver. He put it to his ear. Someone was on the phone.

"Guys have'm trapped in a warehouse." A man said.

"Good good. Now I want you tell the A-Team that if they want to see their friend alive again they are going to come out of the warehouse without their weapons, if they try anything funny I'll kill him." Murdock recognized the voice. It was Tony Romano.

He quietly put the receiver down. He had to get out of here. But how?

* * *

B.A. was starting to get overwhelmed. More men had arrived. He knew with all these gunshots someone would call the police. Then they would get arrested. It would be good for Brianna. She would get to the hospital and the police could help Murdock. But Decker would make sure they never saw the light of day again. As he was thinking of what he should do next the gunfire stopped.

"I want you to come out without your weapons! We have your friend! If you want to see him again you will do as I say! You have five minutes!" A voice shouted.

"What are we going to do Hannibal?" B.A. asked. He was crouching next to Face and Brianna while Hannibal paced around them.

"We can't stay here any longer. I can't get the bleeding to slow down. We can't risk Murdock. Not with what happened. He isn't going to be in any shape to get himself out of any situation." Hannibal paused. This was one of those very rare occasions where he didn't have a plan.

"Colonel I have an idea. Not a very good one. But it might work." Face started.


	7. Chapter 7

Hey i hope everyone had a great Christmas. I will continue with this story. Thanks to everyone who has saved it in their favorites. Look out for the next chapter.

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Hannibal walked towards the hole in the wall.

"The girl you were using as bait was hit while you were chasing us. She is bleeding badly and I can't get it to stop. We will come out if you allow us to call for an ambulance!" Hannibal yelled.

While Hannibal was trying to make a deal with Romanos men B.A. snuck into the van. He picked up the vans telephone.

"Hello. I want to be put through to Colonel Decker." He said sternly.

"May I ask who is speaking?" the voice asked.

"Tell him this is B.A. Baracus fool!"

"This is Decker."

"Colonel Decker this is B.A. Baracus. I am going to turn myself in. But I need to make a deal." B.A. hoped this would work.

"I'm not making a deal with a criminal." Decker responded.

"Look man, I got a girl here who has been shot! She ain't gonna make it unless you help me." He roared.

"What do you want?"

"I need you to come and get rid of these clowns that shot her. There are too many of them and I can't get rid of them."

"Me and my men are on my way. Sergeant this better not be a joke." With that Decker hung up.

B.A. ran back to Face.

"He coming?" Face asked nervously.

"Yeah. This is a stupid idea Face. You better bust me out otherwise I'm gonna make you hurt!" B.A. threatened. He looked down at Briannas lifeless body. "It's gonna be okay Bri. Helps coming."

Hannibal ran back towards Face and B.A.

"What's the story?" he asked as he felt Briannas pulse.

"He's comin' Hannibal. You and Face better go hide."

"Okay B.A. me and Face will get Murdock and come get you. Just remember. Stick with the plan and everything will work out."

Hannibal patted B.A. on the back. Then he and Face ran towards an air vent that was mounted on a wall. Face pulled the grill of it and climbed in.

Sirens sounded in the distance. B.A. took a deep breath, closed his eyes and hoped Hannibal was right.


	8. Chapter 8

Everybody i am really sorry that i haven't uploaded anymore to this story. I live in Christchurch in New Zealand and as you may have heard we are goin threw a national crisis. I will be putting my mind to writing and getting up the next chapter by the end of next week hopefully. Thanks for being patient.


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